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Story of the War in Yemen, told in a humorous way
07-15-2017, 02:06 AM, (This post was last modified: 07-15-2017, 02:09 AM by Nuke.)
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Story of the War in Yemen, told in a humorous way
Well, basically, it's a long, ongoing story, and I'll just cut out all the really sad parts, but this'll be a wall of text!

So in 2011, Yemen's government is overthrown and it gets a new one. So in 2015, Yemen's government is overthrown and it gets a new one led by its old leaders. So the President who came to power earlier resigned, but then the House of Representatives voted that the President was still the President despite his resignation, so there were two Yemeni governments, one north and one south, and the Northern one was/is like twice as powerful as the southern one, so after awhile the southern Hadi government gets totally overrun by other rebels who are just hardcore Sunni Hadi fans who don't like Hadi because he's not Hadi enough and then they beg for help from Saudi Arabia, so Saudi Arabia invades Yemen and effectively becomes the southern Yemeni government, so they win a little but then the northern Saleh/Houthi government of Yemen decides it's time to expand so despite the fact the majority of their country's territory is occupied by Saudi Arabia, Hadi, and other silly forces they invade Saudi Arabia, probably because they kinda need to cross over to make sure the border is secure, but really it's hilarious because Saudi Arabia (with a military budget larger than the military budget de la Russie*) isn't winning much in Yemen but all the action is happening in the Yemeni invasion of Saudi Arabia because Saudi Arabia is losing fairly hard there so I'll explain why how the Saudi military money is being shot out.

So since the Saudi family has a lot of money they decided to pay Academi to fight but then they realized their name is Academi so they decided to pay them to teach their soldiers how to fight too since they obviously are totally incompetent and can't defeat the Yemeni army of random dudes but they still have even more cash to blow so they go to Djibouti's "Build-a-Base Workshop" and to fight the Houthis because Hadi's capital is actually a building in the Saudi capital of Riyadh which is super bad for getting the Yemeni people to seriously think that's their government and the Emiratis find this awesome idea so they create a crazy Dixie Yemeni "Southern movement" that wants to create a glorious rebel Confederacy in South Yemen based on that glorious Dixie rural lifestyle so the Saudi money hole grows as they pay the Emiratis to agree to fight alongside them but they accept only on the condition that all of Yemen will become a bunch of confederate states and then since they're throwing money at everybody they buy logistical support from the Somalis and the govt of Djibouti but it turns out they don't have enough money to buy out those silly rebels because they decide they like the Saudi way even more than the Hadi way but they still think the Saudi family isn't hardcore enough so they continue their revolt so the Saudi king buys more stuff for the Yemeni conflict from Germany but that isn't enough so to add on to the pile they pay the Bahraini, Qatari, Emirati (again), and Kuwaiti governments to formally declare war and send their armies and navies to help but it doesn't work and eventually the Saudis get tired of Qatari news companies making more $$$ than theirs so they ban the Qatari govt from helping them.

* According to the International Institute for Strategic Studies (IISS)
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